There are a lot of emotions that come with moving half way across the world. We have experienced excitement, nervousness, frustration, joy, confusion, and most recently, sadness. I suppose sadness isn’t really the appropriate word. We feel melancholy. Very, very melancholy.
You see, our one year anniversary of moving here occured about a month ago. Since that time, it has been like a switch was flipped. The miss home like crazy switch. Throughout our time here, we have missed things like food and driving, large grocery stores, and customer service, but those aren’t the things we are missing right now. Those are all great things, but right now we miss people. Friends from church, Talbot, work, Oklahoma, and Colorado consume our conversations. God has blessed us with so many amazing friends and mentors and it has been hard to be so far away from all of them. We miss dinner dates with our friends the Van Schoicks, brunch sunday at Grace, family night with the Klinks, praying with our small group, and so many other people and experiences.
I miss shopping with Ashley (even though we never had any money to spend!), my Esther Bible study girls, starbucks runs with Dani on breaks we weren’t supposed to take, Talbot Wives prayer groups and ALL of the amazing friends I met there, eating hot dogs and burgers on the patio with the Polks, and coffee dates with my mentor, Teri. There are so many more people we could mention that have impacted and blessed our lives, but this is a blog, not a book (though I know some of my posts could make one think I don’t know the difference).
At the end of the day, Chick-Fil-A and real milk shakes just don’t fill the void that we feel right now. When you miss people, everything else just kind of fades in comparison. And when those people are your family, the comparison is even more stark. I woke up this morning and read a facebook messge from Ben’s sister, and I just started crying. The message was nothing more than a simple question about something, but I was just overwhelmed with sadness.
I miss my mom’s amazing chocolate fudge and the way she makes every holiday and every visit so special. I miss my dad and all his crazy childhood stories and the constant sound of a bass that accompanies him. I miss my brother who is always bursting with energy and drumming his fingers on every surface. I miss his beautiful new wife Stephanie who always seeks to serve others and her love for Zach just touches my heart. I miss Ben’s mom and her fits of giggles when she is with her sisters and the way she dotes on her beloved Oscar (her dachshund). I miss Ben’s dad and his wonderful smile that blesses your heart because it is so sincere in its love. I miss Ben’s sister and the way she is always itching to go on walks and just spend quality time with people. I miss her husband Alex and his witty comments and excitement over amazing books we all equally love. I wish I could wrap my arms around each of them right now.
It isn’t that we miss America all that much right now, beause we love it here. We just miss connecting with people that have meant so much to us. It feels like we are living over here in this kind of pretend world because we haven’t really gotten to share it with anyone from home (minus Cassie of course). We have come to realize that if you can’t share your world with people, it just lacks the fullness that it would otherwise have. This exeperience isn’t just something for me and Ben, it is something we want to share with those we love (and even those we barely know would be ok at this point!). We want to build precious memories with friends from home even now. We don’t want to wait two years to continue to do that.
I don’t mean for any of this to make anyone feel guilty or sad for us, but along with the exciting and new things that we encounter here, I also want to document the difficult times we face. Right now is one of those times. We love people. We have spent the last six years of our marriage meeting incredible people and building the kind of friendships that just warm your soul. You don’t leave those people and not feel the loss. Our hearts are a little heavy right now, but just know that to all of our friends and family out there scattered across the US, we think of you all the time. We love you. We cherish you. We miss you. xox